There are millions of blogs out there; everyone has something important to say. So do I. But what makes my blog worthy of your time? Why is what I have to say important for you to read?
I created this blog so people could learn about foster care adoption. My two daughters were adopted through foster care. But that isn’t the reason you should follow my blog; the reason is for the children. Not my daughters, but the thousands of children in foster care each year, many of whom age out, or leave the system at 18 without ever having been adopted.
Imagine for a moment never having a family, or the only family you remember having was so unhealthy the government decided it wasn’t safe for you to stay. Imagine being shuttled around from home to home. (There are wonderful people who became foster parents for the right reasons, such as my youngest daughter’s foster mom. There are also people who should never have become foster parents and we all question why they did. Money may be a factor but it just barely covers the cost of the an extra person in the household.) Because things are so uncertain – “will I ever see my parents again?” because despite the traumatic childhood they are still your parents; “can I trust these people?” because most of the adults in your life thus far have proven untrustworthy; “how long will I stay in this home?” because you can’t trust adults and risk getting close, so you do things to push people away; “is this a safe home?” because some foster homes are no safer or healthy than the homes you’ve been removed from; but most important, “Why doesn’t anyone care about? I must’ve done something wrong to make this happen. I am unloveable.”
And that, my friends, is what it is like being a foster child.*
When foster children come to a home that wishes to adopt them, it is the foster-adopt parents left with cleaning up the mess left by their biological family, the system, and those who became foster parents for the wrong reasons. It is their job to heal wounds; some of which are surface wounds and easily healed, others have been torn open so often an infection eats away and it’s just a matter of time before the extent of it surfaces.
Actually, sharing my experiences as a foster-adopt mother with all its joys and challenges is not the only reason I started this blog. Also, the reason is not just to get on my soapbox about the foster care epidemic and the fact these children are as homeless as those living on the street. I also created this blog to talk about the story I wrote, my daughters’ story – Born in My Heart: A Bittersweet Adoption Blessing and why its publication is necessary to read.
*Disclaimer: I have never been a foster child myself but have friends who were.