Adoption · Musings and Personal

Happy Days – A Post Dedicated to my Daughter

She is such a ham!

Today is Paige’s birthday! 

She is seven years old.

Incidentally, it is also her first day of school; she is starting first grade.

Around this time seven years ago, I was coaching her biological mother, Ruth, in childbirth. Quite honestly, I am not sure what was harder – giving birth myself or watching someone else in that much agony. I felt helpless and despite only meeting Ruth twice before, I felt her sadness.

I tell Paige the story of when she was born each year on her birthday. Sometimes she requests it for a bedtime story too.
(I wasn’t there for Payten’s birth but her biological grandmother was, and she has given me enough details that I can weave together a story for her as well.)

It goes like this:

One day I got a call from Ruth. She told me, “It’s time to go to the hospital, the baby’s about to be born!” So I picked her up and took her to the hospital. When we got there, we got to see picture of you inside her tummy, just like we saw a picture of Sam* inside Auntie Tamara’s* tummy.

When it was time for you to be born, there was a problem – your shoulder was stuck!

So the doctors took Ruth to the operating room and I got to see them pull you out of her tummy! The nurses let me cut your umbilical cord and hold you. When I looked down at you, you were sucking on the blankie just like Boogie does. I thought, ‘you’d fit in good with us!’

Ruth loved you very much but she wasn’t ready to be a mommy. She decided to give you to another family so you would have your very best chance. When we found this out, we asked if we could adopt youI’d already fallen in love with you!

When she said yes, it was one of the happiest days of my life.

This is the simple version of a complicated situation.

As she gets older and has more questions, the story will expand. But I think if the I can keep her focus on the original version, understanding and accepting the things that led to her adoption will come easier.

*Sam and Auntie Tamara are pseudonyms.

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