Adoption · Linkup · Writing Prompts

Adoption Isn’t Mutually Exclusive

Today I’m participating in Erin Bohn’s bimonthly Adoption Talk linkup. If you would like to link up, click the badge on the side of my homepage or click here.

The topic for today is Anything Goes with optional Domestic Infant Adoption.

Adoptive family, Bio family and Child are the 3 corners of the triangle.

When I hear the term domestic infant adoption, I always give pause. It brings to mind adoptive parents in the birthing room with the biological mother, all of them celebrating this new little person who is going to be part of a huge, loving family.

But then I think about Paige’s adoption…

In legal terms, it was a foster adoption case:

  • CPS was involved and placed Paige into foster care.
  • Ruth didn’t complete court-mandated services so the case moved to adoptions.
  • Her parental rights were terminated and we adopted Paige.

But there were many aspects in common with private adoption:

  • I supported Ruth during Paige’s birth.
  • Ruth planned to place her for adoption, and gave us her blessing.
  • She refused court mandated services so we could adopt Paige.

So how do I categorize Paige’s adoption?

A Venn diagram shows two different things aren’t always separate – I’d venture to say rarely separate – but rather two different thingsScreen Shot 2015-12-03 at 9.36.37 AM that overlap. 

It’s the same idea that love and hate are not opposites but two sides of the same coin.

Paige’s adoption story doesn’t fit into one category completely, but fits in both. 

It’s like most things in our family:

  • I kept my maiden name and my husband didn’t change his. Our children have hyphenated last names.
  • We have a biological family and a adoptive family, some living together in the same household and others not.
  • We take part in tradition but make it our own. For example, we put a star on our Christmas tree, but made it ourselves.
Our family’s DIY star!

I guess what it boils down to is that nothing fits into a box (or a circle) without some sort of oozing out or overlap.

And I’d venture to guess mine is not the only adoption story like that.

3 thoughts on “Adoption Isn’t Mutually Exclusive

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