Adoption · Linkup · Writing Prompts

A Memory of Emotional Devistation

It’s the third Thursday of the month, which means it’s Erin Bohn’s Adoption Talk linkup.The theme for this week is memories.

Writing my memoir means being immersed in memories constantly.  I’m going to share part of my memoirThis memory is etched into my heart, and not merely because of its potency.

This memory reminds me that adopting the girls was God’s will.

The last parts of Chapter 4, including this one, take place on the day Ruth, my daughters’ birth mother, is discharged from the hospital.

Chapter 4
All Stitched Up and Nowhere to Go (part 4)

I walk into Ruth’s room and find a storm of emotional devastation. She’s bent over the bedside tray, tears falling, uncensored, writing inside a small card. I walk over and put my hand on her shoulder. She looks up. Her eyes are dull underneath the haunted waterfall streaming thickly down her face.

“Hi, Ruth,” I say softly, squeezing her shoulder.


Her voice wobbles. “These are for Paige.” Gently, she pulls a pink and white porcelain bottle out of the gift bag. It’s a bank and it says, A baby is an angel sent from above, a gift to treasure and forever love. I smile and hand it back.


Next, she hands me a small, stuffed angel, hands folded in prayer. I squeeze the angel and it recites, Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, may angels watch me through the night, and keep me in their blessed sight. Amen. The angel’s voice is creepy; it reminds me of Chucky, the possessed doll from the 80s horror movie of the same name. I hand the angel back.

“She’ll love them,” I assure her.


Ruth resumes writing on the small card attached to the innocent-looking angel. Her hand shakes but she is determined to write what is in her heart. My heart breaks watching her.

“Do you think it’s okay if I sign this Love, Mom?” Ruth asks, showing me the card. I read, To my beautiful Paige: May life bring you health, happiness and may all of your dreams be fulfilled. We love you!

“I think it’s fine,” I tell her, handing back the card. It better be! I scold Paige’s nameless, faceless adoptive mother. “You’ll always be her mom.” Ruth nods and signs the card Love Mom & Dad.


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